Seasons & Episodes
The British 'ave Come
The Colonel and the Captain mull over their situation and decide they should probably hand over René and the painting t
Pigeon Post
After the Colonel's and the Captain's uniforms are borrowed by the British airmen, and later burned, they have to send f
Saville Row to the Rescue
The Colonel, the Captain and Herr Flick are all disguised as onion sellers while the German uniforms are being remade by
The Execution
Hans mistakes the nitro for gin and accidentally blows up the railway himself! The Germans capture René, Yvette, and th
The Funeral
René tries to go back to his normal life after his fake execution, posing as his twin brother, also named René, but th
Red Nick's Colonel
The Communist Resistance want to make a martyr out of the dead René, and kidnap the Colonel and the Captain at the Capt
The Dance of Hitler Youth
The Colonel's birthday party is the perfect opportunity to retrieve the real painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big
Six Big Boobies
After the British airmen are gone for good – or so René thinks – there is still the problem of Herr Flick owning al
The Wooing of Widow Artois
René is caught in a dilemma when he must choose between the women he loves: his waitresses Yvette and Maria, and his wi
The Policeman Cometh
We pick up the action mere moments after the close of the previous episode, as the airmen-filled cow narrowly escapes be
Swiftly and With Style
After failing to destroy the train, which will take the copy of the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies
The Duel
René tries to hide from the seconds of Monsieur Alphonse, the undertaker, but in his stead Lieutenant Gruber accepts th
Herr Flick's Revenge
Having ran away from the duel with Monsieur Alphonse, René hides. He's rescued by Michelle of the Resistance who smuggl
The Nicked Knockwurst
After the Colonel makes René promise not to have further contact with the Resistance, Herr Flick's sausage (containing
Gruber Does Some Mincing
The sausage containing the painting of the Fallen Madonna, which was taken by Lieutenant Gruber's dog, is minced by the
The Sausage in the Wardrobe
After Maria is sent to Lieutenant Gruber with the sausage containing the real painting of the Fallen Madonna for copying
Flight of Fancy
With René again in the possession of the sausage containing the painting of the Fallen Madonna, attention turns to gett
Pretty Maids All in a Row
After the plot to get the two British airmen out failed, a frustrated René returns to the painting of the Fallen Madonn
The Great Un-Escape
While the Captain is sitting in the café, Herr Flick of the Gestapo is listening when René is talking to London on the
Prisoners of War
Having been trapped in the POW camp, René is enlisted in the plan to re-dig the tunnel, by getting rid of the dirt. Von
Camp Dance
Dressed as girls from the Folies Bergère, the entire gang (the staff and the Germans) escape from the prisoner-of-war c
Good Staff Are Hard to Find
Since Maria's disappearance, the café needs another waitress, but René and Edith have somewhat different ideas about w
The Flying Nun
The Gestapo suspects that the Colonel and the General are in on a plot to assassinate Hitler, so Herr Flick goes underco
The Sausage in the Trousers
There are still no batteries for the wireless radio underneath the bed of René's mother-in-law, so Michelle's newest ha
The Jet-Propelled Mother-in-Law
The Germans arrest René, and the Colonel demands an explanation for the knockwursts with explosives in them. After a sm
Desperate Doings in the Dungeon
Herr Flick is still held in the dungeons, and if he cracks he can divulge that the painting of the Fallen Madonna has be
The Camera in the Potato
Starting off in women's underwear in the dungeons of the General's castle, René is rescued by Lieutenant Gruber, and co
Dinner with the General
Leclerc and René plan to blow the safe in Lieutenant Gruber's bedroom. Edith's job is to drop a smoke canister down his
The Dreaded Circular Saw
Having blown the safe in Lieutenant Gruber's bedroom, René and Leclerc are surprised by its contents. The Communist Res
Otherwise Engaged
Denise, the head of the Communist Resistance, who was René's sweetheart in his childhood in Nancy, and who's now determ
A Marriage of Inconvenience
René's friends rally round to try and save him from his impending marriage to the formidable leader of the Communist Re
No Hiding Place
René disguises himself as his father in order to escape the wrath of Denise Laroque.
The Arrival of the Homing Duck
René and the Resistance find another novel way to return the British airmen to England.
Watch the Birdie
René and his staff prepare the long-distance duck for its vital flight to England.
René - Under an Assumed Nose
Monsieur Leclerc comes to the rescue when orders are given for René to be arrested. René tries to escape using a uniqu
The Confusion of the Generals
René is in even more trouble as the generals gather round at the chateau.
Who's for the Vatican?
A medal for bravery, a suicide pill and a hide-out in the Vatican introduce an old habit to René.
Ribbing the Bonk
René and the Resistance need to find a huge amount of money quickly to save Mimi from the Communists.
The Reluctant Millionaires
When it is revealed that the one million francs stolen from the bank belong to Herr Flick of the Gestapo, the best place
A Duck for Launch
René has got rid of the Gestapo's money, next is the secret microfilm, but he is hampered by the Communist Resistance g
The Exploding Bedpan
While under interrogation, Alfonse's dicky ticker starts playing up, and he is whisked to hospital. He must be either re
Going Like a Bomb
Michelle and Crabtree hatch another plot to get the British airmen back to Blighty. Captain Bertorelli has stolen Gestap
Money to Burn
Edith is in a romantic mood, and René is playing the piano.
Puddings Can Go Off
Faced with the problem of hiding 1,000 kilos of stolen high explosive, Michelle of the Resistance decides on a simple bu
Land Mines for London
Not only does René nearly get blown up by an exploding Christmas pudding, he also gets roped into another Resistance pl
Flight to Geneva
René tries to sneak off to Switzerland with Yvette on the night train.
Train of Events
René attempts to sneak off to Switzerland with Yvette and four gold bars, but discovers the Resistance are intending to
An Enigma Variation
Chaos engulfs René as he attempts to hide the stolen gold. Meanwhile, the Resistance plan to steal the Enigma encoder.
Wedding Bloss
René asks Edith to marry him after hearing Monsieur Alphonse's intentions of asking for her hand in marriage. Meanwhile
Down the Drain
René is still hiding the four bars of gold he has stolen and decides it is time he left his dangerous life in Nouvion.
All in Disgeese
René is still harbouring the German Enigma machine as well as the four bars of gold he has stolen, two British airmen a
Desperate Doings in the Graveyard
The latest escape plan for the British airmen involves them wading along the canal underneath a tin bath. Herr Flick and
The Gestapo for the High Jump
The Gestapo and the Italians plan to infiltrate the Resistance. Little do they know that René and friends are waiting f
The Nouvion Oars
Private Helga Geerhart plans to marry Herr Flick in order to report his every move to General Von Klinkerhoffe
The Nicked Airmen
When the British airmen are arrested paddling a tin bath down the estuary, René and his staff are instructed to rescue
The Airmen De-Nicked
Michelle of the Resistance plans to infiltrate German headquarters to rescue the British airmen using hijacked German un
The Crooked Fences
Café René is the venue for a clandestine deal involving the solid gold cuckoo clock weight, Van Klomp's portrait of th
Crabtree's Podgeon Pist
Fanny and Leclerc's wedding is timed to coincide with the execution of Michelle's most audacious escape plan yet.
Rising to the Occasion
Michelle comes up with an audacious escape plan for the British airmen involving a barrage balloon and 24 cylinders of h
A Quiet Honeymoon
Newly-weds Fanny and Leclerc are sent to jail by the Germans for flying around in a bed attached to a balloon. Edith dec
An Almighty Bang
The Colonel, Gruber and Bertorelli desperately try to stop General Von Flockenstoffen's suicidal plan to kidnap Churchil
Fleeing Monks
René is to be given a collaboration medal for his help with the removal of Von Flockenstuffen. Unfortunately, this caus
Up the Crick Without a Piddle
René and Edith, transported to England in the place of the British airmen, get medals from Churchill and meet an old fr
The Gestapo Ruins a Picnic
The German officers burgle Gestapo headquarters, but find a ghostly apparition has got there before them.
The Spirit of Nouvion
Michelle enlists René to try to retrieve the Fallen Madonna locked in Herr Flick's safe.
Leg It to Spain!
A rescue operation is mounted when the British airmen find themselves trapped in wine barrels in the cellars of the chat
Prior Engagements
Von Klinkerhoffen thinks a marriage between a French woman and a man from the occupying forces would be good propaganda.
Soup and Sausage
The British airmen are stuck down the drain in the village square, and René plans to get them out using an old ice crea
René of the Gypsies
Michelle plans to release the British airmen from the drain in the square under cover of a gypsy fair, but at the last m
Arousing Suspicions
René and company disguise themselves as Spanish dancers to recover some radio broadcasts.
A Woman Never Lies
Still searching for the Fallen Madonna, Herr Flick gives Helga a truth drug.
Hitler's Last Heil
It is René's birthday and he gets a series of surprises, not all of which are pleasant.
Awful Wedded Wife
René has organised a secret wedding with Yvette.
Firing Squashed
Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen almost meet their maker in front of a firing squad.
A Fishful of Francs
Michelle's new plan involves an eel, a dogfish, ten million francs and the Fallen Madonna.
Swan Song
Edith tries to avoid the firing squad by convincing the general that she is not Hitler.
Gone with the Windmill
The Colonel and Gruber return from Spain. Meanwhile, Edith is faced with a grave situation.
Missing and Presumed Dead
Having been captured by the communists, René tries to find a way to escape.
Rene Artois Is Still Dead
René is supposed dead and a parade is held in his honour.
Tarts and Flickers
Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen plan to impersonate Yvette and Mimi to search the cafe.
A Fishy Send-Off
The plans of the Germans conflict with those surrounding Nouvion's Fishmonger's Parade.
A Winkle in Time
René and the café staff prepare to welcome the invading British troops.
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